A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. My favorite is the old man trying to get to the chocolate chip cookies. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. 60+ Chocolate Puns That Will Justify Your Chocolate Addiction Cao-cao! Candy who? Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? List of Archie Comics characters - Wikipedia I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. Forget love Id rather fall in chocolate! Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. #3. A pound a day often. On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! a!. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Tasty Cookie Jokes And Puns Sure To Make You Crumble Into Laughter I always carry chocolate instead. Everyone got a piece. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is an American animated television series created by Maxwell Atoms for Cartoon Network.The series originally premiered as segments of Grim & Evil on August 24, 2001. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and people who love you. What do you call stolen cocoa? - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Here, have some chocolate. You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. C? 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. Why? No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Required fields are marked *. That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street. Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! ChocoLATE. More Quotes One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. If you were a concentration gradient, I . A little too much chocolate is just about right. Cause I want to take your top off. Because he was moo-dy! If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! Have a look! Open a box with chocolate jokes one liners that will make you laugh! 1. A Candy Baa. Knock knock! Q: What job function does a complete moron have in an M&M factory? But it could just be a Chinese whisper. Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. "Mon, where's the magic?" Ice Cream Jokes. What use are cartridges in battle? I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. A: Because no one wants to quit. Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. Andrew Weil, M.D. "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist. I dont think Id mind if they call you a Devils food, because Id still take the risk for you. Are you a chocolate bar? Are you Hershey's chocolate? Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. Linda Grayson, The Printwick Papers. Dairy milk chocolate! A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. Homer Simpson, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate. Homer Simpson, Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of womens pants. Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! One snatches your watch. Baby I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. 45 Dirty Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. Do you know a bakery around? Chocolate chimp! Hershey. What do you call a womanising chocolate? The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate. I have only two weaknesses resisting chocolate and resisting you. I do not think it is possible but you are sweeter than all the chocolate in the world. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. Nestle Crunk bar. Its flake news. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. 5. It gets her Snickers in a Twix. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? 3. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Dont you think having you and sweet food in my life is redundant? I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. "For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. Choco-early. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! Make your lady smile with these jokes. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Addiction & Guilt I like my cocoa maragnan just like I like my nights full of flavor because of you. I love chocolate to eat. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. These compounds reduce the stickiness of platelets, cells that play an important role in blood clotting. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.". Our team has some to share with you. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Diet Advice ChocoLATE When it comes to stealing chocolate bars He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter. Fred: I dont know. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. Id love to be that cookie youre eating because they have the excuse to get close to your lips. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. 7. Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. How do you know its cold outside? You can also listen to t. #3. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Your gonna choke alot. The chemist sees the glass as completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state. #2. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke Baron Justus von Liebig (1803-1873), German chemist, The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? There was a convertible. What do cannibals eat for dessert? How dairy steal my chocolate! I would like to be your stash of food that can give you comfort whenever you are sad. I don't. I just don . Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease. Thomas Jefferson, All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. said the cashier. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Terry Moore. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. Chocolate Ice Cream. Chocoearly. ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". Are you ready? I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. Chocolate Quotes and Jokes - Facts About Chocolate Why? One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. And I don't love chocolate. Are your legs made of Nutella? Enjoy our chocolate quotes and jokes by clicking on a link to jump to that topic below. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Top Ten Movie Titles That Originally Had a Different Plot Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. As much as chocolate, perhaps. But he minded his own business.. They believe its the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Because I am returning this cake cause I realize youre enough. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Are you chocolate? Tiefing "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". What is the opposite of Chocolate? Available on Etsy. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate.But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. Are you chocolate spread? You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? 2. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Candy cow jump over the moon? An old man and a young man work together in an office. A little boy was taken to the dentist. Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? Theres more to life than chocolate, but not right now. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. Theres nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! 19+ Best Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns All evidence to date suggests its chocolate. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. @. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. A Kitty Kat bar! I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. Save the Earth! It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Love & Sex And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! I identify as a chocolate bar. Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. There was a convertible. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. After about 20 years of marriage, Im finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. - You can have chocolate in in public. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. A marsbar! When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! I think of that again and again! My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? Religion From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns! I am always ready for something sweet like you. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. Hershey. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. Its much higher than anything else. The worlds best Sundae! Are you chocolate? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? Plane Chocolate! What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? 3 What did the egg say to the clown? Are you chocolate milk? You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? I appreciate a balanced diet. 5. Dr. Bachot, 1662. He needed a chocolate filling. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? 40 Banana Puns That Will Make You Burst With Sidesplitting Laughter Why is a Toblerone triangular? I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Returning visitor? Life is what you bake it. Top 101 Chocolate Jokes That Will Make You LOL | Les Listes 15 Comedians Who Were Under Fire Over Jokes: Stephen Colbert - TheWrap